OUT OF TIME
Sitting at the train station with a plaster on one leg.
Wondering if this is what it’s like to be old.
A bit depressing not being able to do the things you used to do.
Life travels slower
Time never passes
Life passes outside too quickly for your own rhythm
What you can reach with your mind and heart, your legs don’t respond to, and you must leave it for the next time. Or the next life.
And things don’t seem to be so important any more, seeing as you still go on living. Nothing really does happen too terrible if you missed that so exciting party, or you can’t travel on a week-end. All those exciting plans that were only so in your imagination, now cease to exist. So you concentrate on your present. No plans for the future.
Just step by step,
minute step by step.
Tiny step, one at a time.
And each step becomes huge
Takes all the significance
It’s all there is really, that step.
The one you are taking now.
The one you are about to take.
And the long future doesn’t seem to exist anymore.
What I can do when I am cured?
Has no importance now
Only to be cured
So stay with me now
Don’t miss a beat.
I am cold
Need sunshine
Train stopped
Waiting for the next
Will it come?
Not if this one doesn’t move on.
So close your doors present train
Fix your problem
Let it be
I’m getting the next train
Where I’ll be warm and moving.
But nothing moves. Nothing’s happening
Uncertainty
What to do in an out-of-time moment?
A train going nowhere
A train stopped
Blocking the way
Who is to fix the present?
Silvia Munton
June 2015